this will gonna be a terrible post
so please close my blog if you accidentally open mine
i don't wish to spoil your mood..
just finished my dinner
that is a bitter and totally not appetizing dinner
got my mummy and my sis's nagging again
how i wished i could close my ears and eat my rice peacefully
i just couldn't understand why they like to manipulate my life so much
what should i study.. where should i study
everything they love to poke their nose into it
is that hard to fulfill my wish to be a pharmacist?
why she can be psychiatrist as she like
and why cant i?
do you know that
because of you
i made many regretful decisions
i wished to study poly last year
and you said that its wasting time
and now.. YOU ASK ME TO APPLY IT
i don't wish to study at aus
and because of your bad mouth..
you nearly caused me to be sent to aus this year
and now.. YOU FORBID ME TO GO AUS TO STUDY
last year.. i want to study a-level
just because of uk is a better place to study pharmacy
you forbid me to study that
and you say that study ausmat
its better and easier to enter aus
and now..
i am totally speechless just now
but i just don't wish to say them out
cause i know we will get quarreled if i say them out
instead.. you thought that i am willing to listen your words
mind that.. i am not your puppet.. you know
i am human.. i live for my dreams..
not live to make you to be manipulated of
sometimes i just wonder
do i really feel happy when you come back?
and now i realized that : not really
your return made me feel that
i am useless
i worth nothing in this family
everything i did and decided are in wrong
but.. its that wrong to have my own ambition?
why am i study for now?
for singapore? or to achieve my dream?
i can't think of any now
i really wished to let you and mummy know that..
do you 2 know why am i strive so hard to get better results every time?
do you know why i try my best no matter what i do?
its not that i am stubborn..
its not that i am bad-tempered..
but..
its just that i wish to let you know that
hey.. i am your daughter too
i need your support and confirmation too
although i look tough, strong and mature in home
it doesn't mean that i don't need any care
i can share your troubles
i can be your good listener when you feel you facing sad problems
but.. i need someone to let me pour out my troubles too
i am human.. not a machine
i can't keep all your sad stories alone
i have my own troubles too..
but.. do you ever know that?
please don't neglect me..
i know that i may be hot-tempered
i can't obey all your words
but.. i am still your daughter..
lin needs care.. she needs love
so do i
i am not that noble to share and give everything she wants
stop forcing me to do so
i am her little sis.. but why i am the one who tolerate with her ?
why cant she put herself in my shoes and try to think what is in my mind?
No comments:
Post a Comment